I'm Moving!

I'm moving to a different blogging site. It's too difficult for me to visit this site every day like I'd like to. Between logging into all my accounts with my yahoo! mail and then having to sign into my gmail to get here which logs me out of my actual youtube account and into some random gmail youtube account... It's just a lot and frustrating. Plus it seems like no matter what I do this blog just has a mysterious, dark, awkward feeling due to the page set up and just... The way the layout of the page is. I'm looking for something new this year that better reflects my personality so I'm moving to Thoughts.com.

I hope to better my presence in the blogosphere with this site move! Here is where I'm going:
AlexPunkBunny at Thoughts.com!

1/13/13

I am already sick of school e.e

Anyways. Let's see... I need to organize my thoughts...

Okay we'll start here. So first week back to Glee (YAY), and we all got slammed for not having our practice sheets, but the ONE FRIEND who is NEVER prepared for anything had his today =.= it was embarrassing. Our punishment for not bringing our practice sheets is a duet. Yup. Everyone who didn't bring their practice sheets got stuck in a duet with someone else who didn't bring their practice sheets. I got paired with Day. I love her, and she's a great singer. But... She sings so soft... And I sing so... Loud. I don't want to overpower her so that she can't be heard (thus making me look like an attention whore) and I not only sound horrible trying to sing softly but I can't. When I sing softly my voice practically disappears. It's just because of the voice I have :S And then get this: The only one who DID bring his practice sheet, and he WANTED to do a duet! *facepalm* so he got stuck in a trio with Day and myself. This is a little better, I mean, Flo sings rather nicely in a group. But the problems overflow from this like a fountain. Day and Flo decided without me that we were going to the the Pokemon theme e.e I can't sing the pokemon theme. At all. The notes are too... Like... Normal. And I only know the first verse. PLUS someone in our trio that volunteered to make colorcoded lyrics (everyone in the trio has to sing a solo) and he hasn't gotten them to me yet. And has had no contact with me, even when I tried to contact him. So as if it weren't bad enough I'm singing with like, the least powerful (that's not offensive >:l ) singers in Glee, we're singing a song I can't sing. Plus, like, this weekend would have been perfect to practice. I was home alone, like, all weekend. But I didn't have the coded lyrics so I couldn't TT-TT Now I'll have to try to practice while my parents are home. My house is so tiny everyone can hear me because I sing so loudly. I hate that. I don't know if I'm good or not and I don't want my mom in the other room thinking I'm stupid for putting so much effort into singing. Which she will. She's always been like that. Oh yeah. And the duets are due by THIS next wednesday... Tengoku no haha shin'ainaru...

I enjoyed most of my week. Or tried to anyways. I honestly don't feel like bitching anymore XD But my weekend went pretty well, too. I'm excited. I'm almost completely finished learning Romeo and Cinderella. Which, when I first started, looked like the hardest dance ever. And this is the hardest dance ever. LOL. I keep spelling "hardest" heardest for some reason XD anyways, I'm so unbelievably proud of myself for conquering this dance.

Here are some pictures from this week, & explain each of them, since my friends are fahktards:

 Dani (our token football fan) tackled Nick (the guy he's wrapped around) who proceeded to fall on his ass :3

 Emmanuel and Juanito~

 Gaby & Flo <3 I don't know what I'd do if these two weren't in my life

 Annika, Gaby, and Flo returning from their Lunchquest - Anni is flailing at me

 Did some roleplaying Friday :l

And Annika telling us she has not yet lost her finger in an archery accident (that's how it started you know)

6/1/13

I'm writing this blog in the morning because I plan on being very busy tonight.

Yesterday I began working on a dance for the song "Ah! It's A Wonderful Cat Life". I'm sure it already has a dance, but I probably wouldn't like it XP I've also been practicing Romeo and Cinderella really hard. A couple days ago Amaris recruited me for a 50 dance video collaboration. She didn't want to do it by herself so she asked me to do it with her. I'm nervous because out of the 50 dances, I only know maybe 5 or 6 of them. We'll be spending some time learning the dances and then putting them together at the end. I'm happy to be a part of a project like this. I love big projects. 

On a different note, I've decided to make this a photo blog. So basically I'm going to take pictures of things in my day and put them in the blog. I like taking pictures of the things around me, and maybe the pictures will make my blog more entertaining for anyone that happens to come across it. Included in this blog are two pictures of my dog Lucy in our backyard. It's a bit of a hassle plugging my phone into the computer just to transfer a couple pictures, but it'll be worth it in the end. After all, this blog is for me to look back on later on in life, and pictures hold memories better than words.

3/1/13 - Reflecting on Years Past & Predicting the Year to Come

Well alright, it's a new year, and in case you haven't noticed yet, I've decided to give my blog an exciting new look. Like it? Well I've got a lot to write about so I guess I better get started.

Yeah, I know I didn't come and post a new entry right at the start of the new year >:P I was awake, and I didn't forget about it, I was just busy watching the celebration in New York. I would like to say a few words about the previous year and the year to come, however. I realize now that last year, for me, was about experiencing and learning. And believe me I learned a lot. I learned that I shouldn't let people walk all over me, and that if I really don't want something, I should say no. I realized that you should never think "That sort of thing will never happen to me." because it did happen, and it ruined me. I wasted a year and lost someone I still love today. This year for me, will be about taking the things I learned from my experiences last year, and using them to better myself. This year is about me, a child, stepping up and becoming more mature. Doing the things I don't want to do, and taking responsibility for myself, fearless of the outcome. I realize that I'm really quite immature in some little ways (which end up effecting me in BIG ways). I am lazy. I am short tempered. I am overly-concerned. This year, I hope to change that. I already see the changes in myself, too. I am slowly -but surely- becoming less lazy, and more likely to jump up and do things as soon as I know they need to be done. I'm learning to, when I spot a problem, settle down and remind myself that things will fix themselves in time, and that attempting to fix them myself will only cause more harm rather than fixing the problem. This is a year of self realization for me, and I've been gifted with a new fire, a new passion for life within itself that has begun to motivate me daily to venture forth and do things I'd normally be too hesitant, or otherwise horrified to do before. I look forward to every experience and challenge 2013 has for me, and I will face it head-on, or embrace it with open arms. For me, now, I will leave no stone un-turned, no question un-answered, and no thought unspoken. This is the year I teach myself how to become an adult. This is the year I do what I want (Thor! >:l [lol ruined the moment]), and become who I want, regardless the challenge. And I feel fearless now. I know that at times things will be difficult, maybe I might even think it's unbearable, but I realize now that taking on these challenges, and doing these things, are a part of growing up, and will mold me into the kind of adult I want to be.

Setting aside my sappy New Year's speech (I think I deserve an award. Or a sticker at least >:<), some neat things happened today. I went shopping with my mom and then went to Barnes & Noble. It was hard for me because, as much as I hate talking about it, people make me nervous. Being in public makes me nervous. And one of the phsychoblehblehbleh I seen told me that I need to start addressing this problem now, and force myself to go out, because if I don't I could develop an intense fear of leaving my house. I already felt that fear setting in, so I think it really woke me up to hear someone else -especially a certified doctor- tell me I needed to do something. I was there completely alone. Usually I go places with friends or family, and things are a bit easier, but when I'm alone around a lot of people I get nervous at first. Then shaky. Then dizzy. Then I just feel like I'm going to faint or get sick. Luckily for me it only got to the dizzy part before my mom showed up to take me home. While I was there I also feel as though I handled some situations a lot better than I would normally. First, some creeper (probably drunk or on some type of drug) approached me while I was looking at some art books. Normally, in this situation, I'd get all sweaty and nervous as soon as I noticed the person approaching me, but not this time. He asked me if I'd "seen any chicken books", and I calmly and politely, without looking at him, said that I hadn't and then he left. While to anyone else I'm sure avoiding a creep in a book store the way I had would be a no-brainer, but to me this was a great achievement. In this situation before now I would have gotten nervous, scoffed at him nervously, and probably said something that would have queued an attempt at conversation on his part, which I would have been too afraid of to attempt avoiding. I'm glad I've grown in this way. Then, later on I brought a book up to the check-out counter that I didn't have enough money for, however, I didn't realize this until the cashier had already scanned the bar code on the book and the gift card I was using @.@ so she had to call over her manager to undo the transaction and then go and put the book back. I wanted to offer taking the book back to the shelf myself since I knew where it went but, I thought at the time that might seem weird on my part. Normally I would have gotten so nervous and embarrassed in this situation that I would have came close to tears. But this time, while I did feel rather stupid and slightly embarrassed, I didn't get so nervous I could have puked. I feel triumphant. I also got a job application while I was there. Woop! I'm so happy Barnes & Noble still carries paper copies! Now-a-days most businesses ask you to fill out an application online or print one up and bring it in instead. We don't have a printer, which makes finding a job that much harder on me since I'm too nervous to go to the library and ask about using the computer and printing and all that. I hope to fill in most of it tonight, have my mother help fill in the rest tomorrow, and then maybe turn it in on Saturday. I really hope I'll get to work there soon, even though I don't think they're really looking for new employees right now. It would be a lot easier for me to handle with my people phobia than a typical fast food job would. Plus, I think I'd feel more comfortable working around all the books and bookworms. Whenever I go there I'm re-alphabetizing the shelves anyways. It really bothers me when people put back a book in the wrong place. I mean, how is someone else supposed to find it if they're looking for it and it's in the wrong place! 

Anyways, a lot of good is going on right now, and while things can always get worse, I'm sure things will only get better. Here's to a great new year. Goodnight and I wish you well ^-^

31/12/12

For the past few days I've either been at my cousin's house or I was staying with my cousin. She's just been bored I guess, but I feel like I wasted so much time those three days I was with her :s we did absolutely nothing all day. I hate that feeling. But enough of that.

I'm not going to list everything I got for Christmas but I got some pretty awesome stuff. Though... The iTunes card that I was really looking forward to this year wasn't activated at the register :'< so I can't use it. $25 down the drain. That's $25 worth of music I could have bought! I checked online and the only way I can activate the card is by emailing a picture of the front, back, and receipt of purchase for the card to someone at the iTunes dept. I don't have the receipt, and if the family member who got it for me does still somehow have it, they live two hours away from me :< I'm so disappointed. I was going to spend New Years Eve buying some new music for my phone and daydreaming about 2013 *sigh* oh well I guess. I'll try to get my parents to help me set something up. 

So anyways, I'd like to make note of my New Year's resolutions. I honestly don't usually do this, but I think this year, they're realistic, and a good idea. This year I only have two resolutions. Get a job, and renew my passion for drawing. I'm already on my way to the second resolution, but I know the first one will be more difficult. I'm searching outside of Riverbank, thank goodness my parents are kind enough to be willing to drive me to work until I can either start paying them for gas or get my license. I don't act like it, or voice it often, but I'm really lucky to have the parents I have. They do so much for me, that most parents wouldn't consider. 

I'm going to stay up until 12 AM January 1st 2013 like I do every year, but I plan on putting up an extra blog as soon as the time changes. I'm looking forward to welcoming in the new year online tonight ^.^

22/12/12 - Pokémon!

Welly well well :D hey there! So much neat stuff has happened to me since the last post. Not anything too exciting, but things that make me really happy.

So a couple days back I lost my glasses for about a day and a half. It was just awful. I couldn't see anything. I felt like a hopeless, blind mouse. I felt like I couldn't do anything. I had a constant headache for that day and a half due to eye strain. Can you imagine? It was awful. I actually took a NAP it hurt so bad. I HATE naps. But then I found them so all was well in the kingdom~

 Then my friend helped me get back into FB roleplaying by making some OC art for me to use and rping with me until 1 AM that night. It felt really good. We also played some Draw My Thing before that which was hella fun too. I love playing that game with friends X3

 Today I did a couple neat things. First though, when Michael came over to visit the other day, we played Pokemon Black & White together. He gave me a tepig that I badly wanted *.* thank you Michael! So this morning I got around to trying to level it and something really neat happened. I was just about to enter the tall grass to start training my level 1 tepig (I ran back to Pinwheel Forest from Nimbasa City, thank goodness for bicycles) when a plot of grass started shaking. I, as I'm sure many others do, thanked Game Freak and ran into it. The results were far more than pleasing. The battle began and after about 5 tackles from my tepig, audino took it out with doubleslap in two hits. I threw out my snivy next and instead of attacking it simply used leech seed on the audino, used a revive on my tepig, and brought the tiny pokemon back into battle. The effects of leech seed did most of the work for my tepig, and when I finally defeated it, the results were far greater than what I had expected. Pling, pling, pling, pling, pling! Over and over! The joyous sound repeated until my tepig had reached level 14! In ONE BATTLE I was able to save myself a good twenty/thirty minutes of training! This, to my surprise, was not only because audinos are worth more exp. when you defeat them, but also because apparently, traded pokemon get exp. boosts! This pleased me endlessly and I was happy for most of the morning. I also experienced a great first for me in Pokemon today as well. You see, I love minccinos. I don't know why. I just really love minccinos. So I caught two. I knew I'd never have the time (or patience for that matter) to level up both pokemon, so I stuck them in the daycare instead. This was some time before my trade with Michael. So, after the shock of leveling my tepig so greatly I realized that the daycare was near by and I should probably check on my pokemon. So I went, and when I  approached the counter to talk to the old lady that runs the daycare, it surprised me that when I tried to get my pokemon back all she'd say is "Ah, there you are! My husband has been looking for you!" I, confused, wondered outside to find the daycare lady's husband, whom I was completely unaware of or the fact that it was the old man standing right outside. When I spoke to him he also said that he had been looking for me and then informed me that they had found my pokemon carrying eggs. I knew you could get a pokemon egg in the games, but I had no clue how. Then when he asked me if I wanted them, I almost started crying in joy. Then, (bonus!!) when I decided to talk to him again to see if he'd say something different, or something regarding how to hatch the egg, he repeated the previous dialogue from the first time I received an egg and proceeded to give me another! I was left with two eggs! I retrieved my minccinos that I had came there for in the first place, and moved on to level my tepig up to my current team's level. Long story short, by the end of the day I hatched both of the eggs simply by walking around training my tepig, and now I have two more minccinos that I have no idea what to do with @.@ I have now decided that I am the minccino breeder, and have put it on my trainer card. (haha!).
 Today, I also went to a bbq at my aunt's house. I'm not very social... I pretty much spent the whole time there sitting on the floor in a corner with my headphones on listening to Lindsey Sterling and playing Pokemon. But it was SO ADORABLE. When my youngest cousin, Jacob, realized I was playing a video game he curled up right next to me and watched me play, letting me teaching him the glory of pokemon the entire time ^w^ and near the end, the older cousin (who is still only 9, but the smartest 9-year-old you will EVER meet) realized I was playing pokemon as well, and also curled up next to me. But to my surprise the kid knew more about pokemon than I did! He'd already caught both the Black and White legendaries on the online version, and had already finished the DS version! I actually carried on a very otaku and smart conversation with a 9 year old boy! It was the cutest thing ever, I was so happy. There is still hope for the pokemon generations TTwTT

That's about it for today. Woah. I wrote a lot more than I planned to X3 ah well, there's nothing wrong with it. Maybe some day a magazine company will find my writing and hire me as a journalist XD lol. I also realize that in the last post for some reason the bottom paragraph is highlighted. Yeah. I have no idea why that's like that, but I really don't care to fix it XD Goodnight~

19/12/12

Today went from okay and unsure to nice and simple. I thought I was just going to sit around today making one of my friend's Christmas presents and playing Sim Social, do the dishes, and practice Romeo and Cinderella. But instead I ended up going to my aunt's house. Nothing really interesting happened there. Sat on the love seat and played some Pokemon Black, then played Dragon Ball Z on the PS2 with my two little cousins (they're so smart!) and went home. My aunt was also getting rid of her desk so she gave it to me! YAY! I have a new desk. I don't usually change the way my room looks so I get really excited when I get something that will greatly change the appearance of my room.
 After we left my aunt's place we were all really hungry so we got food from Golden Chopsticks. Normally, I hate Chinese food, but I'd never been there before so I had no idea that they had such a delicious-looking menu! I ordered the chicken tariyaki bowl (which I'm still attempting to finish) and it's really good! ✫✫✫✫✫ on this bowl, best I've had so far. Plus there was a young Asian girl taking my order, probably the daughter of the shop owner. She was so cute! Poised, calm, and had the cutest voice I've ever heard!

I have a friend coming over tomorrow that I haven't seen in a really long time. I'm excited. I don't know if I'll post tomorrow, but I might have a lot to talk about so, you never know~

Currently eating: Chicken Teriyaki rice bowl
Excited for: Finishing a dance, seeing an old friend, finding a new romance

18/12/12

Christmas is coming up. Why did I say that? Because I'm busting my ass making presents for my friends D: I've never hand-made presents for all of my friends. And I'll be honest, I feel kinda bad because I suck at hand-made stuff but... I'm poor. And it's the thought that counts, right? I love my friends and I don't care if they never wear what I'm making for them, I just want to give them something that I made specifically for them. That's whats' important to me this year.
 I'm also trying to work really hard to get them done before X-mas but I fear that even if I get them all completed, my mom is going to be too lazy to take me to friends' houses to drop them off (haha!).
 On a different note, my father (not my step dad, who is just my "dad") bought me an HD flatscreen tv for Christmas. This was a shock to me because he's never really been apart of my life, and then for him -someone who is almost a complete stranger to me- to buy me something as nice as a flatscreen tv... I'm just shocked. And I feel bad, really. I don't like it when people who aren't close to me (my mother pretty much : P) spend money on me, or spend time on making me something. It makes me sad. I also get nervous when receiving gifts for some reason. I feel awkward getting things from people. I guess I'm always worried I'll seem ungrateful...

I love breaks off from school, they give me time to focus on me, and being me, and building who I am as a person. It sounds weird, maybe even a little self-centered, but I tend to completely lose who I am when I'm in school, and I kind of revert back into this state of acting like a 12-year-old whenever I have school. Weekends and breaks however, I feel as though I can really figure out who I am, because I don't have to focus on school or anything else. I can just relax and be myself :3

Anyways... I find myself in an awkward internal situation o.o basically, I've been in a relationship with someone for the past two years. Now I'm single again and it just feels weird. I've been single for just a couple months and sometimes... I feel like I'm just going to die with this need to let out affection. It's weird, mostly because I've never viewed myself as an affectionate person. I don't really know if I want a relationship right now, since my last one was a total disaster and I don't want to chance discovering any scars. But yet... I find myself feeling little sparks of /something/ towards people I would normally not consider at all. I'm not worried about it, though. The events of these past few months have made me grow in personal strength and confidence more than I could possibly explain. I guess it's true, what doesn't kill you really does make you stronger (ugh, I hate that song). Though there is one I find myself specifically attracted to, I'm not going to go for it just yet. Not only are there some things that just seem wrong about it, but I also know that it could just be some devious part of my brain trying to do something stupid. I do, however, feel as though I might tell him just to get it off my chest. Sometimes, if I just tell a person how I feel, and see them react in a not-so-positive way, I don't feel that way for them anymore.

That's it for now~ heihei

9/12/12 - Dayum :D

Wow! Heeeeey! It's been a long time :3 a lot has gone on since my last post and I have a buttload of things to talk about. First though, I'd like to say that I have been meaning to blog for the past couple of weeks. Sadly, though, my notebook had been taken away from me. My mother randomly gave it back last night though, so, I guess I'll catch up while I have the chance! I don't know how long this will last. You never really realize how much you'll miss something until it's gone - like this blog!

 Okie dokie so, like I said, LOTS to catch up on. I'll start with the first thing I began to do. I recently completely driver's ed. WOOP! Now what? I wait ten months to take my permit test. If I tried to get my permit now I'd have to pay 200-and-something dollars to go to a driving test. Screw dat. Hard to believe I only have 10 months until I'm 17 and a half, huh? Yeah, it's crazy...
 Onto the next thing! I joined my friends' Glee Club a couple weeks ago and I'm really excited because I've never taken part in any extra club or anything like this. I'm kinda sad though.... I'm a pretty good singer when I practice at home but I get so nervous at practice that I shake and sweat and... Yeah. I hope I can do this. Our first plan is to go caroling at christmas tree lane. We're learning "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree" for our first song... I honestly hate this song simply because I don't know what notes to hit at some parts, but now that I have my computer back I'm sure I can practice with youtube videos :>
 Lastly.... I FOUND MY MIC BIATCH!!!! I haven't tested it out with this computer yet, but I'm glad that I at least found it. I've been looking for it for like, forever :D wish me luck in that the quality is good, so I can finally upload some vocal covers for the tube of yous!~

So yeah that's it doods :3

Currently downloading WolfQuest

Listening to Miku-tan's english version of Panda Hero (also learning)

Excited for: A new boyfriend, adulthood, winter break, a job

9/9/12 - SO MUCH

 Wow! Hi, it's been a while, hasn't it? School has kept me really busy and there were times when I probably should have posted but didn't. Anyways I've missed a lot and have a lot to write about but most of it will be skipped because I have some exciting things to say.
 First of all, over the summer I was invited by People to People's Student Ambassador program to go to Italy, Sicily, and Greece. Normally I'd just shrug something like this off and say I could never do it, but going on this trip would really set the tone for the rest of my journey on becoming an interpreter. I've also heard that some schools give out serious scholarships to kids who take part in these People to People trips. It would help me so much and the list of benefits for going on this trip goes on and on. I've heard it can be really difficult to complete all the steps before you go on the trip but I'm willing to try harder than I ever have before on anything to make this trip. It could be the springboard for my career in interpreting and I'm NOT going to let it slip out of my hands.
 On a different note I've been writing a book lately, and it's turning out great but I seem to be stuck in chapter 3. Can't seem to make that writing magic happen the way I usually do. I'm sure I'm just having a small case of writers block and I'll be good as new as soon as this meeting is out of the way, I've been really worried about it lately.

8/4/12 - Junior Year!!!

Start of my junior year is coming up soon... I'm not sure if I should be excited, but I am happy I will no longer be stuck in this house... I want to start a horror club ): should I do that? I think I'll put a poll on facebook...
 I got my ID and my schedule for school yesterday. I stood in line for an HOUR to get my photo taken for my ID. It was hot and boring. But I'm okay with how my picture turned out for once. Which makes me feel good. I think I'm finally figuring out how to smile for pictures so that it won't turn out all creepy looking ^-^
 They messed up on my schedule >:l they gave me Spanish II twice. I don't even like that it's on their once (I gotta take it though) so I have to go through fixing that when I get back into school. Grand. I'm thinking maybe I have it twice because I'm an aid for Perkins (the Spanish teacher), but you have to sign up for it and get approved by the teacher. HOWEVER. I'm not sure if teachers are allowed to just sign up students for an aid position. I was nice enough to Perkins to think that he might have done it. I'm not okay with it though. AT ALL. If he did, I'm going to have to have a serious talk with him >:l but with the kind of person he is, I don't think he would sign a student up for something like that without talking to them first. We'll just have to see how it turns out.


 My boyfriend and I have broken up. I'm not gonna go on some sort of sob story here, but I will fill you in. His mother split us up. She's never liked me in the first place, but I can't believe she would do that. I've been with him for a year and tried to be the best girlfriend he's ever had :S In all honesty, I'm not too bothered by it. He still talks to me like I'm still his girlfriend occasionally, which really does comfort me, but he shouldn't be doing that... It'll just fuel that connection that we had. We've broken up so many times that it doesn't really hurt anymore unless I think about it a lot. But maybe this break is good? Who knows.


 Oh. My. Gosh O_O I JUST got a letter in the mail inviting me to take part in an international exchange program! This is such a huge opportunity for me! I want to be an interpreter! This is HUGE for me! HUGE! AAAAAGH! I need to read further into this! More info later! Bye!!!

29/?/12 - Gettin' Stuff DONE

Forget what month it is...

I'll figure it out later

Well hi ^-^ it's been forever, hasn't it? I might seem unusually unstable right now because Pencil just crashed on me (I'll explain in a minute). So I've been doing a lot of crafty stuff lately. Got a sewing machine from my neighbor (THANK YOU!), a shitload of material, and the animation program Pencil. Yup, after searching the web for a few months looking for a free animation program similar to Flash, I found Pencil.
 I really do like Pencil, and not just because it's free. It's really easy to work with after you read the unbelievably short user manual. I only got it a couple of days ago, but as soon as I started the download I started making a story board. Because what do good animators do? They make a story board! My "beginner" story board is really simple. It's just my BattleAxePirate character (that I FINALLY designed) sewing a dress and dancing to PONPONPON by SeeU o.o It's actually a lot easier than you would think. Though I'm dreading the dance sequence. SO. MUCH. FRAMES. But yeah, it'll be fun. I can't wait to finalize the project and upload it to Youtube. I think my account will finally have a purpose now so long as the file process works on my computer. Yeah. The way you save the files in Pencil is really tricky, and I may have to do some reading up on file types to find a way to make it work, but I'll find a way. I swear it.
 But yeah, I'm ticked. Got about 25 frames into my animation and Pencil CRASHED. 25 FRAMES! And like... 3 story board panels, THREE! But at least it only crashed on the opening sequence instead of half way through... I swear from now on I'm saving after I finish a panel from the story board *fuming*
 On another note I can learn how to sew stuffs now. I got a sewing machine for FREE from my neighbor (yay, free shit), it works AWESOME. Now I just have to find something simple to sew. I'm thinking arm warmers. Flarey ones. With ribbon. LOTS OF RIBBON.
 So mmhmm. That's about it. Looking forward to school. Not looking forward to losing sleep. Might start a couple Youtube series later on down the road with Pencil. If you'll excuse me I'm going to take a shower, relax, and start on my animation... AGAIN. Later~

5/7/12 - Accessory Crafts!

Hei everyone~ It sure has been a while, hasn't it? Summer is slow... But I'm finding ways to speed it up~

 A little while ago (I'm writing this at like, 3 in the morning) my mom came in and told me to get off the computer. So I did. But instead of going to bed I stayed up another two hours constructing a little accessory craft XP Sorry Mama. I've never actually done this before so I'm really excited to see how it turns out. I got my old music stave cloth, a paper bag, my scissors, a pencil, some white dry-clear wet glue, and my mini sewing kit (out of it I only actually used my measuring tape and safety pins).

 I measured my wrist with the tape, marked a corner of the paper bag with the right measurements, cut out a corner of the bag, and ran it through my fingers to soften it up. Then I measured the cloth so that it would wrap around the strip of paper bag almost perfectly. I cut out the material I needed, set the strip of paper bag in the middle, put a thin line of glue down one side of the material, spread it out with my pinky finger (so that there were no hard bumps when it all dried), and folded it over onto the strip of paper bag. Then I did the same thing with the other side of cloth, just using less glue because some of the glue from the first use kind of soaked through the cloth Xl After that I carefully folded the second half of cloth over onto the first and pressed on it gently. Then I turned it over to make sure the stave design on the outward facing side of the bracelet was straight, and fixed the slight wave in the pattern.

 I wrapped the strip around a candle I had sitting on my desk, and pressed small but heavy items on three sides; the left side, the right side, and the area where the two end sides of the strip meet. This way, the strip will dry stiffly into a bracelet shape, instead of straight, if I were to just lay it down flat and put something on top of it. Doing that might make it hard to bend into the circular shape I want when it is finished drying.

 Later in the morning when I get up I'm going to put the final (and my most favorite) touch on this craft; silver safety pins to hold the strip ends together. This will give it a nice goth look, as well as serve as a nice decorative accent (the same way a charm would). I'll be sure to put up pictures!~

6/22/12

I think summers' got me in a depression. I have nothing to do. Which is usually why I fill it with projects. But my projects have all fallen through the cracks and I don't know what to do... At least... I didn't.
 Lately I've been thinking that I want to learn web designing. So I decided to start with the basics. HTML. I'm currently learning online here. I'm shocked that I could find a place that would teach me online for free. I'm really proud of myself. So far I've gotten into the Attributes chapter on the site. I'm taking notes in an actual notebook and using their page generator as practice. I'm really excited about this. I also remembered just last night that before school ended last year I signed up for a computer class that would teach me things like HTML. It makes me excited to think that I'll already know how to use it before the class. Well, at least that chapter will be a breeze~
 Aside from HTML I really want to learn .exe and a few others. I don't know what .exe or XML is used for, but the more crap I can shove in my brain the smarter I'll feel :3 besides, who doesn't feel cool when someone asks you how to make a web page and you know the answer, at the moment that still isn't something everyone knows! (I'm sure in a few years everyone will know how to make a web page) I'm doing this in hopes that I might be able to make my own site some day. Nothing interactive, because those take a lot of computer power to run (though I would love to build a site someday in which people can make accounts/avatars/etc. but I don't know the beginning of how to do that yet). But just having my own web page for videos, my drawings, and a blog would be nice. Who knows, maybe someday I'll graduate from blogspot.com to my own website! But that's just dreaming big. For now, I'm happy to be on the learning path to something as great as web pages, I already have a far better understanding than I did going into this, and it blows my mind to think just how much computer power the world is using these days!
 Well that's all for now really. I hope anyone reading this has a fantastic day and remembers to stay optimistic even in the darkest of times! Bye~

6/13/12 - Look At It!

So, not much at all really happened today. But I finally got myself out to do something I've wanted to do for the longest time. I love taking pictures of flowers, and it really is surprising to see just how many different beautiful flowers there are in my neighborhood when you stop and take a close look. I'll stop talking and put up the pictures now. Heh...

 This is a tree stump, pretty cool, right?

 I don't know what these are called, but I was raised calling them apple flowers

 Tree stump! I wonder how old this tree was? :3 

 Pretty baby blue flowers

Okay I cheated, these flowers are hanging in a pot outside my house

Well, that's it! I hope anyone who found this blog enjoyed these pictures. Feel free to download them as you please. Bye!~

6/10/11 - Boobies!!!

Well, today was pretty fun for the most part. I got up in the morning to go with my boyfriend, his baby brother, and his mother for the day. I have to say things got interesting right away. I was sitting in the car next to my boyfriend's baby brother who was being a complete wild child the whole time. He took off his shoes and socks and threw them around the car. One sock even managed to fly over his mother's head in the driver seat and land on the dash. At one point, he pointed at my breasts (damn near poked one) and yelled "Boobies!" really loud. He would stop for a few minutes, kick the back of the driver's seat, scream like a mad person, and then poke at my breasts and yell "boobies!" some more.
 Then we stopped for lunch at a place called Fuddruckers or something like that. I'd never been there before and I didn't order anything but it was a really neat looking place, and I'll admit (as much as I hate burgers) the food smelled great. We sat in a little corner booth that was themed for the Beatles band, and when his baby brother finally calmed down enough to go and eat with his mother, my boyfriend and I sat in the nicely decorated booth and he told me stories about the band's past (because my boyfriend LOVES the Beatles).
 I then went to the mall with my boyfriend and we had a really great time together just walking around, eating candy (form the Sweets Factory! I love that place!!!), and people watching. It's days like today when I can really spend time talking with my boyfriend that I remember why I love him so much. He's so down to earth and we really do connect on so many levels. I always feel safe and understood whenever I'm with him.

Now that I've been home for a while I have been thinking about what to do for my dad for father's day. Though I know I have no money to buy my dad something, I have a smudge of talent. And I am going to use it on him this year. I can't say a lot because even though my dad doesn't use the internet, more or less know I keep this blog, I still don't want to risk it. All I can say is that it involves motorcycles and tigers :D Haha. Have a nice day/night/whatever guys~

4/6/12

Haven't been doing much lately. Decided to rebuild my guild on Gaia. I had the worst night last night. I don't know why, but I kept waking up, like, every few hours just UNBELIEVABLY uncomfortable. It was hard for me to breathe, hard for me to get into a comfortable position, I don't know what was going on but EVERYTHING hurt. It wasn't like serious pain. It just ached.
 And then this morning I had the WORST dream I've had in a really long time. Apparently I was friends with this old guy that owned a restaurant. He was having an entertainment night and he wanted me to come dance. Well, in the dream, the sound booth played the wrong song at the last minute so I had to make up a dance on the spot. I WOKE UP this morning with stage fright. Ugh... Life sometimes...

1/6/12

I've actually had a lot to write about these past couple of days, but because I've been so busy I haven't been able to write about it!
 Well, I can't remember what I did two days ago that was so important (sad, right?) but I do remember that yesterday was THE BIGGEST pain in the butt of my life. My parents had me run around and pick up job applications and ask around for work and make a resume and stuff. Everything was all fine and good but most places want you to print up their application at home -.- yeah. We don't have a printer here at home and I sure as hell ain't going to the library like a poor person to print up job applications. Also, my mom had me write up a resume to drop off at the places that said they just wanted my resume. I was content with this... Until I realized that as a shy person I have almost no volunteer work or anything else to put on my resume for that matter. Which hurt me, and pissed me off. I had a really bad friggin day because of that. And even just writing about it now makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry. I think trying to get a job may actually be harder than the actual job itself -.- I'm not ready for this yet.
 On a different note, still wondering if I should focus on keyboard or dance this summer... Yup... And it's already June.... Fuuuuuuu-....

28/5/12 - Hey!... Help!!!

I don't know why I'm writing this so early in the morning, but I suppose there won't be much going on today anyways, unless I can see my boyfriend, in which case there still wouldn't be much to blog about (sorry, Sweetie). So I've got an itty-bitty bit of a dilemma on my hands... A couple of months before school ended I decided I would go back to practicing keyboard this summer, so I could search for a new symphonic metal band to join in my junior year. But a little bit later on I decided to come out of the closet with my dream of becoming an idol (if you don't know what that is click here), and thought that I should maybe start a dance group to work with this summer, since I'm trying (maybe to more results than usual) to lose weight this summer it would be helpful to be part of a dance group, while at the same time doing what I would love and being an idol (because while there would be no flashy lights or costumes, dancing in front of people for their entertainment in the closest thing I will get to being an idol at the moment). Then, early this summer I've found a program called Game Maker which has really managed to hold my interest. It's a game making program (duh) that I've somehow managed to figure out how to work. Being a lazy 16-year-old, I can only keep up with one of these ideas at a time. And I've learned that I'm far more productive when I pace myself and take on my own damn projects one at a time.
 NOW I'm not sure what I should do. The way I look at it it would be far more productive if I finished up learning keyboard this summer (because along with that talent there are so many benefits), while working on my Game Maker project during breaks and periods of player-block (it happens. Sometimes you just can't seem to get your brain and fingers working together), then, after I find and a band and everything is said and done, later on I'll establish a dance group. I mean, it would take up a serious amount of time and effort to head a dance group, look for people to join, hold auditions, meetings (deciding on routines, creating routines, deciding on costumes and if we want them, finding places to perform, etc...), so honestly I don't know if it would be a good idea to play for a band and dance in an idol group. Thinking long term, if I made it in my band ventures (which I'm honestly not stressing about, making it big in a band is REALLY difficult and I'm not about to set myself up for disappointment by hoping), I would have a lot of free time during breaks to work with an idol group, also, if I waited until then the group could get big considering I would already have band fame. I don't think people really understand how boring and slow band life really is. People think being in a band is all rushed, with a packed schedule, but really it isn't. You have tours (which most of the time is spent traveling), and during that time most song ideas for the next album are written. It's rushed when you have multiple performances in one country, in which that is when you're having to make the decision between eating breakfast and showering due to a tight schedule. But after tours, you go back home and finish up writing for the next album and start the recording process. This is how it usually works. Then, after that, you've got anywhere from 4-8 months give or take to do whatever the hell you want at home. For me, that time would be spent working with the idol group. Now, seeing as I don't plan on having a family when I'm older, this plan works out perfectly. If I wanted to become a mother (which I don't plan on doing), then this schedule would be a big fat NO because home time would be spent at HOME with the kiddies. Good thing I don't plan on having kids.
 So yes, thanks to anyone for reading my brain puke and any help, suggestions, input, etc. would be GREATLY appreciated. This is going on my facebook so I can get ideas from my loved ones, and quite possibly support, but anyone else is free to comment. Please feel free to stop reading here, the rest of this blog is rambling junk that's floating around in my head, but still pertains to the subject... So... Yeah, do whatever.
 Well, in case you can't yet tell, I've always wanted to work in the performing industry (not so much acting or singing, though.). It's not like I'm planning on anything, I expect to have to get a regular, old job like everyone else, but I'm trying my best to build up my talents so that I could have a chance. I, personally, for no professional training at all, think I've managed to build up a decent singing voice (back up vocals and stuff). In all honesty, I'm stupid. Well, I'm creative. I'm not good at math or all the techy stuff. So, I'm kind of hoping to make something of myself in the music industry. Because I really doubt that I'll be able to get a regular job with my lack of common sense. Plus, I really think I'm cut out for the metal music industry. I would never touch drugs. Ever. I've seen the negative effects of that crap and I'm not going there. I'm low drama. I can get up and go when I need to. I don't mind being rushed. I love long car trips (I've never been on a plane but I'm sure it's no big deal), and I don't bore easily on them. I'm really good at keeping myself entertained in that case. I love messing with people. And okay, sure, I get stage fright. But I've only every had to act in front of people in little instances. Like elementary school plays and stuff. If I was doing something I was confident in, with other people up there with me, I'm sure I'd be fine. So, I'm trying. While I don't like admitting it to people, I do hope on making it up there. At the same time, I don't mind being a garage band, and I understand being "discovered" or whatever takes some time, but I've done some hard core research on this stuff. I already have two record companies lined up in case I ever make a demo. Nuclear Blast Records (which would be harder since they are a very popular record company with lots of absolutely amazing groups, and it would take a lot of talent to beat the other demo-senders), Spinefarm Records (they're not as popular but they have signed with some cool bands. They are actually really hard to get a hold of and now that there site is down I wish I'd written down their demo send-in information when I viewed the page about a year ago), and as a back up label, I honestly really don't want a contract with these guys, but when you're trying to make it out there you'll take what you can get; Fueled By Ramen. For one thing, I don't think FBR takes metal, mostly because they're a mostly American label (ew). But hey, you take what you can get. Right?

27/5/12 - Been A While, Huh?

So yeah, I haven't really been posting. Simply because I haven't had much going on. The only good thing I didn't really blog about was getting the Sonata Arctica album Stones Grow Her Name, with my father. It was an amazing day, really. He bought me a shirt, which I really didn't want him to do, but I suppose if he wanted to he might as well... Almost lost my phone that day.

  The album is amazing. I'm listening to it right now. It consists of the songs Only The Broken Hearts, Shitload O' Money, Losing My Insanity, Somewhere Close To You, I Have A Right, Alone In Heaven, Cinderblox, The Day, Don't Be Mean, Wildfire II - One With The Mountain, and Wildfire III - Wildfire Town, Population 0. It is one of those albums much like the previous, Days of Grays, album in the fact that it grows on you as you listen to it. For fans of the "old" Sonata Arctica that might be hesitant to buy the new album: JUST DO IT. It's totally worth it. It still has that original Sonata feel. Don't judge the album by the previous, it has more of an original Sonata feel than the last. Again, for those original Sonata fans, the best song on the album for me to suggest to you would be Losing My Insanity. Though I do believe this is the "cover" song of the album, it was originally written by Tony for another artists to sing.

 Moving on, today I am going out of town with my boyfriend~ This is what year-long relationships are supposed to be like. Getting along with their parents, going away with them, hanging out for ridiculously long periods of time, helping around the house. This is how it should be. And it makes me so happy : ) Well, I have to go get ready. I'll post when I get back! Love you ALL and have a fantastic day!!